Dear no, too self

We’ve been expecting too much of each other of late, I think we need to
take a break.

No, wait, don’t get upset. It’s not about you, it’s me, it’s my fault.
I’ve promised you so much and let you down so often. You deserve better.
I think we need to take a break.

Just a week, maybe two. We could have an open relationship and see some
other people. Remember
last year?
We needed some space and it worked out OK.

What? No, I meant just you really. You could see some other people if
you like. I shan’t. I’ll be too upset, probably.

I’ll ask Tom to get in touch. You remember him – he’s the guy who gave
me the
key to MI5
and went off to Spain to
build a cave
. Alfie‘s in town
too. You’d like him, he’s
a skater boy
, he can take your picture and
make you say cheese. Maybe Peter could
tell you all the things I should have said. Ask Joel to write to you. He knows
how to write. Maybe, just maybe, I could persuade Alexis to
drop you a line. He’s always got a story to tell and he
makes great tea

It’ll be good for you. I’ll come back. I promise. Just tell me that they
meant nothing to you and I’ll come back. Otherwise just let them in, all
of them and I’ll never bother you again.

You wouldn’t do that though, would you?