Buildings that rock: Architectural nightmare no. 666

I’m trapped in a building by Satriani. It’s suffocating and claustrophobic with nowhere to stand back and view the spaces. If there were you’d realise there are no spaces to view. An architecture whose rhythm is drowned out by the relentless onslaught of over-hand tapped out details on a specialist instrument tuned in a way only the designer and small handful of specialists can understand. Occasionally saved by ironic Hendrix references that provide relief, the neo-classic-rock juxtapositions draw from the collective memory a tantalising moment of populist richness, before disappearing again in a purple haze of drop-D to the power of ten.

Bill and Ted’s phone booth lands in the foyer. Visitors from the Ry Cooder school of New Urbanism are being held hostage behind impenetrable walls of speed-metal. A flock of students try to mimic the building in the popular new CAD program – AirGuitarUp.


Joe Satriani. Breathtaking, virtuoso guitarist – terrible architect.

(Will the nightmares continue? See previous dreams: 654, 1256 and n=total)